1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
