No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
