I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
