the day after is always just damage control
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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