I just saw a hot homeless man
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
