we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
