On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
