just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
