Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
