I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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