yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
