My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
