its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
