discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
