So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
