Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Holy shit dude........stairs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
