just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
