I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
