your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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