Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
