i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
