so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
