Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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