Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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