wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
