Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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