Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
