I have demons in me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize