I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
