So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
