Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
