I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
