Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
