My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
