Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
