My brain says no but my pants say off.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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