my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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