I hope mine doesn't look like that
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
