Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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