DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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