My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
