a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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