the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
