i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
