I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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