She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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