Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your penis caused this!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
