mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
