If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
