I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
