reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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