I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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