you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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