Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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