Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
