We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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