All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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