We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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