i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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