so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
