I'm really into asian looking animals
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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