i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I'm really busy with my period
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