she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
